no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
