She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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