Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
