After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
