just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
