he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Damn victory sex feels great
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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