How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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