i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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