Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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