Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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