You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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