he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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