can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
