White coat. Heels.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
