oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
me + whiskey = a bad person
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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