I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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