haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
