Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
