it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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