You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is Oprah even human
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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