She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
