I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
