Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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