HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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