garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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