she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
