But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
