Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
