Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
