Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
