I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
