You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
