Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
