Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sex in a hospital.. check
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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