Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
