I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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