Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
