Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
