We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
