chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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