Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
