Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
