Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
worst night to have a conscience
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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