when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
