I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
