alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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