Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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