Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Princesses don't give blow jobs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
