There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
