UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
